"I'm Donald Trump's lawyer!" "I got a whole hard drive that's just labeled 'Yikes, '" he said.
Stiller was lead into a room with little more than a chair and a table with a polygraph machine.
In the awesome cold open, Sessions and Pence sympathized with Cohen - who laments, "You know how much evidence I have in my office?"
He also shared the internal nicknames that they use for everyone on Trump's team, saying Trump has gone from "Putin's little bitch" to "Stormy's little bitch".
Stiller popped up first, playing the embattled and bumbling Cohen who, let's be honest, is a dead man walking at this point.
Stiller, as Cohen, tried desperately to wiggle his way out of a lie detector test, fearing he would inadvertently reveal that his boss knew about the hush money.
Mueller served Cohen a slice of the harsh reality waiting for him and the rest of Trump's supporters. "Just trying to milk some information out of people", he said. "Yeah, like a cow, a goat, or a cat". Robert De Niro fired back, once again referencing "Meet the Parents".
"I have nipples. Can you milk me, Mr. Cohen?" "You broke the law, and now we're going to catch all of you little Fockers, you got that?" If you've never thought about why a CT town would build a gazebo during the Civil War or how much of your day is spent proving you're not a robot, the comedian will really make you stop and question things.
Saturday Night Live returns with Atlanta creator and star Donald Glover serving as host - while also performing as the night's musical guest under his stage Childish Gambino - on May 5 at 11:30 p.m. ET/8:30 p.m. PT on NBC.